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letter from the universe

blu — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 17:39:21 +0000

What if,
you’re already doing everything right,
even though you’re not sure?

And the surprises along the way
have only sped things up,
even though it felt like
they slowed you down?

And all that you want
is now barreling towards you,
even though you can’t see it?

And when it arrives
it’ll exceed your every expectation,
even though your dreams were huge?

Wouldn’t you be making
some really weird noises about now?
Whoohoo’ing…
Howling…
maybe even
Whoohoo-howl-barking?

Well?

The Universe

ps: thank you God, for a huge inspiration boost today
pss: if your dreams dont scare you, it’s not big enough.

HIM and him

blu — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 18:55:19 +0000

Mode : bahasa campur-campur

Balik ke Desember 2011,
Aku ngerasa clueless, future looked so blur, bingung terus setiap hari, merasa serba salah harus pilih persimpangan yang mana. Feel so empty somehow.. Then i made a very radical decision, lets just throw away all the opportunity i have, i don’t want it all.. Cuma gara-gara baca quote.. “When you get lost, you will find yourself” I chose to go away and to get lost, from E V E R Y O N E who knows me. Quit ngajar, quit semua, even quit being a designer, bye bye all the relationship burden.. Let’s go to somewhere abroad! (yang mgkn cm HK dengan alesan kerja ) padahal disana juga semua kerjaan kutolak, juga ga kabari temen-temen disana klo ak kesana Pinginnya meditasi ala Eat Pray Love.. ngejauh dari semua orang yang kenal aku.. hehehehe.. Pingin diskusi pribadi ama Tuhan… protes.. tanya.. dan minta penjelasan.. ak harus gimana ini…

So anyway, kadang-kadang, GOD itu nyebelin.. HE is selalu nyebelin.. -_-”… Di saat ak sudah siap untuk kehilangan semuanya.. Just one day before it happened.. while i was saying bye bye.. HE gave me a really really big surprise.
Seeeeeee… how HE loves to cut things really close..

A surprise that literally changed me.. complete me.. and mostly enlighten me
And since then, i feel like am the luckiest, richest girl ever..

Till now.. am still asking HIM..
how can i thank HIM for him?

It has been days.. when awake is so so much better than sleeping..
when everyday.. ak yang males selalu jadi putri kesiangan..
selalu so excited dengerin wekerku tiap pagi
always cant wait to greet HIM and him good morning

love you my KING and my prince ♥
hello future am ready to rock you!

ps: from this i learn that..
sometimes, God wants me to let go things..
strip myself to nothing..
and i just have to trust HIM
cause nothing means nothing as long as i have HIM, The Everything!

because of you

blu — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 19:12:09 +0000

You never know when you’re gonna meet someone
And your whole wide world in a moment comes undone
You’re just walking around and suddenly
Everything that you thought that you knew about love is gone
You find out it’s all been wrong

And all my scars don’t seem to matter anymore
Cause they led me here to you

This might end up like it should
I’m starting to believe that this could be the start of something good

You bring life to everything I do
Just the way you said hello
With one touch I can’t let go
Never thought I’d fall in love with you

If ever you wondered if you touched my soul,
yes you do

You captured somethin’ inside of me
You reached inside and touched me internally

The magic in your eyes
True love I can’t deny
When you hold me I just lose control
I want you to know that I’m never letting go
You mean everything to me,
I want the world to see
It’s because of you..

lilo

blu — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 17:21:27 +0000

fairytale

blu — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 10:29:48 +0000

I believe in fairytale.
But not like the ones I used to hear when I was a little girl.
Disney has its share of planting the seeds of fairytale.
And as I grow older, I realize those only exist in storybooks..
and Disneyland..

…

Seeing couples who share how their love began, what sparks their relationship,
I start to believe that there’s a magical power that brought them together.
That doesn’t mean that problems does not exist as they come together.
In fact new problems surfaces,
just like the evil stepmother, Ja’far,
or the dragon that stands in between,
only this time the problem is
REAL

It’s only when they face their obstacles together,
that they begin to see the power of two,
thus embarking on a new adventure as a couple.
Happily ever after is maybe not impossible..

I just have to keep my faith..

water

blu — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 20:52:25 +0000

There a little funny fact about us..
me and both my brothers..
we are scared of height..
be it skyscraper building, elevator
(God.. i remember transparent skydeck in melbie >_<),
or even a ladder..
worst, if we simply see fear factor during a height dare..
we got scared already..

and when we do..

we produce water -_-’
so many sweat will fill our little hand and feet..

lucu banget kedengerannya..
but the scary feeling aint funny at all

sebenernya, bukan karena ketinggian yang buat ak takut..
masih bisa kok ketawa ketiwi pura pura berani
lalu menertawai tangan basahku yang ga mo kompromi..

tapi kalau bener-bener mau jujur…
yang buat ak takut itu perasaan kalau ak bakal jatuh..
the feeling when i fall and no one will catch me..
it scares me so much..

and that little fact is reflected to my life in some point..

saat ak harus buat keputusan yang harus ak tanggung sendiri akibatnya
saat ak merasa sendirian harus melangkah di ketinggian
saat ak engga percaya diri apa ak akan ambil pilihan yang tepat..
walopun berlagak baik baik saja, sok ketus pura-pura bisa..
am really crying so bad inside..
screaming and craving for answer..

and that point is coming now…

God.. which one i should choose?

will i fall or will i fly?

Dear you,

blu — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 05:42:52 +0000

It’s okay for me if you want me to understand that
It’s okay for me to adjust
It’s okay for me to do the things i don’t believe
It’s okay for me to betray my own feelings
But i hope..
You will be okay if i can’t be honest with you again
You will be okay if i don’t tell you how i feel again
You will be okay if sooner or later, i am going..

And you gotta know dear,
when a girl is turning around,
she will never go back..ever
no matter how much you regret it

I never quit because something went wrong.
i quit because i tried my hardest and my best
and nothing made it better..

little fire

blu — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 09:04:38 +0000

there is a little fire inside me today
ya right.. i don’t have to make a choice
i don’t need to get stressed out thinking about which
i can design my own choice
am a designer after all!
indonesia, i love you xx

blog, please pray that i could find them
i need them as part of this plan..

my little place, wait for me
i have a feeling.. this is not just a crush like i always do
i will do this till the end.. *pinky promise, blog*

i will make that little place for real
my secret offline escape, see you soon xx

i hate love

blu — Sun, 07 Aug 2011 06:19:59 +0000

what is love?

Have you ever been in love?

Horrible isn’t it?

It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore.

It takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt.

I hate love.

i know i should ~~not~~ forget you

Life oh life

blu — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 14:35:29 +0000

Today, i was thinking of how to be a good designer, a good student, a good blogger, a good daughter, a good sister, a good best friend, a good employee, a good teacher, a good cook, a good artist, a good housekeeper, a good business girl, a good team member all in the same time.
It is just.. err… difficult..
Someone.. please tell me how to organize all those stuff.
Seriously….. i need someone’s help to organize them for me.

I could always wish for more hours in the day,
so i wish my body could survive on less sleep,
because then i might be able to be good at all those things.
but my body is screaming, “no no no!”
it needs sleep.
oh, sleep.
i love sleeping.

and then,
as i’m so absorbed in all this self-reflection,
something happens.
as it always does.

that makes me rethink my priorities.
which made me sit and think for a while tonight about choices…
and then all of sudden,
those things don’t seem that big of deal anymore.

like always.

why do i always forget?

ps to myself :
Make sure you are having fun
in a non-design hobby from time to time

pss : life loves you ♥